Trusting in His Sovereignty

I haven't written in 3 years. Three. That could be a testament to how our lives have changed and been incredibly busy raising three very young children, it could show my lack of discipline, or any number of things about me and my life, but either way I'm glad to be sitting back down and using this as a sort of journal to document what is going on in the life of our family for the last three years and now. It feels good to have been reminded of this outlet.

 Matt started a new job this week at Logan Aluminum. We are excited about the new opportunity for him and hopeful that this is the job change that will allow us to bring me home with our kids, which is something we've both wanted for quite some time. Logan has a great reputation, great benefits, and should support our family well. The one hiccup, at least in my mind, is the schedule. It is laid out for us from now until March 2018, which is a great thing for the planner in me, but I have to admit I was overwhelmed looking at it last night and couldn't help but focus on all the time I will now be without my husband. He is much more positive about it and has made some good points about how it will be a positive change for our family. I know he's right. I'm just struggling. I know this time next year I will look back and see the faithfulness of the Lord in this time. He opened every door for Matt to make this job change and my husband faithfully followed. 

 I am also already seeing the Lord work in me. One way was through a sweet reminder he gave me was last night when I was reading with our boys at bed time. We read the story of Joseph being sold into slavery and then read about how he was blessed to be second in command and God used him to save his family. Obviously not every aspect of our current situation is paralleled in Joseph's story, but I did find comfort in one thing in particular. 

Let me clarify just a bit though. I don't think that this schedule change is anything "evil against me", but I am having a hard time fighting the battle in my mind that this is going to steal time from Matt and I and Matt and our kids. Satan is trying to win and let me be honest by saying, sometimes, he does. Unfortunately, when he wins, it steals joy from our marriage. It makes Matt think I'm not excited for him or I don't support him. It says something to our kids about my lack of trust in our sweet Lord. And I don't want any of those things. Then I remember my God. I remember his character and who he is and has proven himself to be. He is FOR my marriage. He is FOR my family. He wants us to thrive. So, I tell myself and I tell Satan exactly those things. This verse last night, tucked into the end of our story in a children's storybook Bible spoke to my heart. "...God meant it for good... So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones." I do not want to take scripture out of context or use it for my purposes because that's dangerous. I'm just saying, God used this to speak gently to my restless heart last night and for that I'm grateful.

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