Gratitude and the Sovereignty of God
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Tonight has been one of the most draining nights I can recall having in a long time if ever I have even had a night more taxing than this. I will not share too many details because they're not all my details to share, but I do have a few things to say about my gratitude and the sovereignty of God and the fact that those two things are so intricately tied together that it causes me to be speechless.
Tonight has been one of the most draining nights I can recall having in a long time if ever I have even had a night more taxing than this. I will not share too many details because they're not all my details to share, but I do have a few things to say about my gratitude and the sovereignty of God and the fact that those two things are so intricately tied together that it causes me to be speechless.
Typical day. Matt and I both went to work, talked after work before I taught my class at WKU, had a very good, typical conversation and went about our afternoon routines - or so I thought. I came home around 5:30 pm and knew that I would likely not see Matt until I got to church this evening because when we had spoken on the phone earlier he had said he may need to go straight to church because he had a meeting with a few guys about an upcoming camping trip. So, I took my time at home because I was exhausted, headed toward church around 6:45 and when I arrived was surprised to not see my husband. He was supposed to meet with a few of the youth workers about a camping trip coming up and they said he hadn't made it. So, I tried calling his cell phone and couldn't reach him. I told myself not to panic because there could be a lot of reasons why he wouldn't be able to answer his phone. I went back in the youth room and decided I'd sit through youth and then try him again. Well, uneasiness settled in and I stepped out of youth around 7:15 to call him again. No luck. I walked through the church with what I'm sure was not a great poker face, to look for him, but didn't find him or his truck in the parking lot. At that point I ran into a friend and just said I couldn't get ahold of Matt and was starting to get a little worried. The tears began to come and she stood there and prayed with me. Feeling a little more at ease I walked back toward the youth room and decided not to go back in, but instead I called Matt again. Nothing. I was debating at this point on whether or not to call his parents. He talks to his mom almost every day and I thought maybe they'd heard from him more recently than I had.
In the sovereignty of God I got his dad on the line. This is where Matt gets his cool headedness and logical side. Matt's dad, while I'm sure slightly worried, kept me calm and said they had not heard from him, but that they'd pray.
By this time youth was wrapping up and I was trying to stay somewhat hidden, but I got Jeremy Moran. After filling him in on what was going on we started thinking of different people we might call before going too far and calling this a true "emergency". Made a few phone calls with no success and decided maybe Matt had been so late he just went straight to Jeremy's house to work out and his cell phones were dead. Jeremy headed home and I headed to the house I go to for Bible study. Again, the sovereignty of God.
When I showed up the girls immediately knew something was wrong and as I explained they quickly jumped into action. Sara West's house went from a home and place of Bible study to a "Find Matt Turley" Headquarters. I mean, these ladies were rockstars. They kept me calm when they needed to, cried with me when they needed to, prayed over my husband and I, and eventually felt the relief I felt when all this was figured out. They made countless phone calls and came up with creative ways to try to locate Matt. This is the body of Christ at work together and for each other. It was incredible and completely humbling. More than just these girls though sprung into action on behalf of my family. Matt's boss and coworkers, friends were driving to the last place we knew him to be, friends in Bowling Green and elsewhere were praying until we found him.
We did pretty quickly get the police involved. Officer Allen was very helpful. Another friend of ours Adam Smith who works dispatch for the BG police started making some calls too. At this point we knew no accidents had been reported and because we had called every area hospital we knew he had not been admitted anywhere. This didn't quite ease my mind though because I was sure he had gone off the side of the road somewhere and was unable to get help. Every time I tried his work phone again and heard his voice on the voicemail all I could think was "this is the last time I'll ever hear his voice". It was an overwhelming feeling of grief. It was in those moments I had two prayers in my head. One, God...guard my mind. All I could get out was "guard my mind" but I have no doubt He knew exactly what I meant. Guard me from the power that Satan can gain from the mindset I'm in. Guard me from not trusting you. Guard me from my mind wandering to all the worst possibilities and let me act effectively and efficiently in order to find my husband. Two, God...you are good. You are still good even if I never see my husband again. People, please don't get me wrong. This prayer was not one of great faith in time of struggle. It was a prayer of necessity because I needed to convince myself that that indeed is true.
Another interesting little view of God's hand on this whole situation was my contact with a guy Matt works with named Larry Hooper. I met Larry through the Ziks when they lived and served in Central City. This was years ago when I was in college. When Matt and I got married, over time we realized we both knew Larry. Matt and Larry work together at Perdue. They're in different departments, but still interact occasionally. When it hit me that Larry might be able to help I called Brittany to try to get his number, which she gave me and I called Larry and filled him in. He was worried with us, but quickly started taking care of things I couldn't. He got in touch with Matt's boss, got into their work system to access Matt's vehicle information to give to the police, and eventually was out at 11 o'clock at night driving Matt's routes. He told me later that another way he knows God was working in this is that he never takes his work computer home. He did tonight though because it's new and he wanted to get to know how to use it. That was the only way he had access to all the information he was able to get. Without that info we really would have been in the dark about so much. So cool to watch the Lord work.
So, after several hours and so many people trying everything they could think of to find my husband, who they call friend, I finally got a phone call from Matt. It was 11:50 pm. It had been hours since the last time I heard from him. The sound of his voice was so sweet to my ears. God is so good to give us someone to love with all we have in this life and Matt is my person. When I thought he was gone it was unbearable and when I realized he was okay it was a relief I don't even think I can explain. I quickly asked him where he was and he let me know he had been taken to jail. Yes, jail. The last place any one of us would have thought. We never even thought it would be at all worth calling the area jails. Please don't think any less of my husband before reading on! haha
Here's how he ended up in the Todd County jail. Last year he had gotten a couple speeding tickets and we paid them both or at least so I thought. I was convinced that it was taken care of and that this was all a huge mistake. After running around Todd county and calling people in Warren county I was informed that in fact I had not paid this particular ticket last year and Warren county had issued a warrant for my husband's arrest. So, when he was on his home this afternoon he got pulled over for speeding and when the officer realized there was a warrant out for him he had to take him to jail. Yikes!
My husband is a champ. He has had a great attitude about the whole thing, telling stories, and extending grace to me when we realized I hadn't paid the ticket. God taught us both a lot through this experience. I'm grateful that it worked out the way it did and that Matt is fine, but I really do hope that if the unthinkable had actually happened I would still know with my whole soul that God is good.
The gratitude comes in two ways. One, gratitude to the Lord, knowing that He orchestrated all of this from beginning to end and that it is for our good and his glory. Two, gratitude to all those who helped in one way or another tonight. It was overwhelming to see each of you work so hard on behalf of our family. God is so good to have blessed us with so many people who we love and who love us in return. Thank you.
In the sovereignty of God I got his dad on the line. This is where Matt gets his cool headedness and logical side. Matt's dad, while I'm sure slightly worried, kept me calm and said they had not heard from him, but that they'd pray.
By this time youth was wrapping up and I was trying to stay somewhat hidden, but I got Jeremy Moran. After filling him in on what was going on we started thinking of different people we might call before going too far and calling this a true "emergency". Made a few phone calls with no success and decided maybe Matt had been so late he just went straight to Jeremy's house to work out and his cell phones were dead. Jeremy headed home and I headed to the house I go to for Bible study. Again, the sovereignty of God.
When I showed up the girls immediately knew something was wrong and as I explained they quickly jumped into action. Sara West's house went from a home and place of Bible study to a "Find Matt Turley" Headquarters. I mean, these ladies were rockstars. They kept me calm when they needed to, cried with me when they needed to, prayed over my husband and I, and eventually felt the relief I felt when all this was figured out. They made countless phone calls and came up with creative ways to try to locate Matt. This is the body of Christ at work together and for each other. It was incredible and completely humbling. More than just these girls though sprung into action on behalf of my family. Matt's boss and coworkers, friends were driving to the last place we knew him to be, friends in Bowling Green and elsewhere were praying until we found him.
We did pretty quickly get the police involved. Officer Allen was very helpful. Another friend of ours Adam Smith who works dispatch for the BG police started making some calls too. At this point we knew no accidents had been reported and because we had called every area hospital we knew he had not been admitted anywhere. This didn't quite ease my mind though because I was sure he had gone off the side of the road somewhere and was unable to get help. Every time I tried his work phone again and heard his voice on the voicemail all I could think was "this is the last time I'll ever hear his voice". It was an overwhelming feeling of grief. It was in those moments I had two prayers in my head. One, God...guard my mind. All I could get out was "guard my mind" but I have no doubt He knew exactly what I meant. Guard me from the power that Satan can gain from the mindset I'm in. Guard me from not trusting you. Guard me from my mind wandering to all the worst possibilities and let me act effectively and efficiently in order to find my husband. Two, God...you are good. You are still good even if I never see my husband again. People, please don't get me wrong. This prayer was not one of great faith in time of struggle. It was a prayer of necessity because I needed to convince myself that that indeed is true.
Another interesting little view of God's hand on this whole situation was my contact with a guy Matt works with named Larry Hooper. I met Larry through the Ziks when they lived and served in Central City. This was years ago when I was in college. When Matt and I got married, over time we realized we both knew Larry. Matt and Larry work together at Perdue. They're in different departments, but still interact occasionally. When it hit me that Larry might be able to help I called Brittany to try to get his number, which she gave me and I called Larry and filled him in. He was worried with us, but quickly started taking care of things I couldn't. He got in touch with Matt's boss, got into their work system to access Matt's vehicle information to give to the police, and eventually was out at 11 o'clock at night driving Matt's routes. He told me later that another way he knows God was working in this is that he never takes his work computer home. He did tonight though because it's new and he wanted to get to know how to use it. That was the only way he had access to all the information he was able to get. Without that info we really would have been in the dark about so much. So cool to watch the Lord work.
So, after several hours and so many people trying everything they could think of to find my husband, who they call friend, I finally got a phone call from Matt. It was 11:50 pm. It had been hours since the last time I heard from him. The sound of his voice was so sweet to my ears. God is so good to give us someone to love with all we have in this life and Matt is my person. When I thought he was gone it was unbearable and when I realized he was okay it was a relief I don't even think I can explain. I quickly asked him where he was and he let me know he had been taken to jail. Yes, jail. The last place any one of us would have thought. We never even thought it would be at all worth calling the area jails. Please don't think any less of my husband before reading on! haha
Here's how he ended up in the Todd County jail. Last year he had gotten a couple speeding tickets and we paid them both or at least so I thought. I was convinced that it was taken care of and that this was all a huge mistake. After running around Todd county and calling people in Warren county I was informed that in fact I had not paid this particular ticket last year and Warren county had issued a warrant for my husband's arrest. So, when he was on his home this afternoon he got pulled over for speeding and when the officer realized there was a warrant out for him he had to take him to jail. Yikes!
My husband is a champ. He has had a great attitude about the whole thing, telling stories, and extending grace to me when we realized I hadn't paid the ticket. God taught us both a lot through this experience. I'm grateful that it worked out the way it did and that Matt is fine, but I really do hope that if the unthinkable had actually happened I would still know with my whole soul that God is good.
The gratitude comes in two ways. One, gratitude to the Lord, knowing that He orchestrated all of this from beginning to end and that it is for our good and his glory. Two, gratitude to all those who helped in one way or another tonight. It was overwhelming to see each of you work so hard on behalf of our family. God is so good to have blessed us with so many people who we love and who love us in return. Thank you.
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